He ask his wife, “Honey, what would the neighbors think?”

She replied, “Probably that I married you for your money.”

2
At a wedding, a little boy asked his mother, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”

She answered, “The bride wears white because this is the happiest day of her life.”

The bogy thought about this and said, “Why is the groom wearing black?”

3
A man and his wife entered the dentist’s office.

The man said, “I want a tooth pulled. We’re in a big hurry, so forget about any pain killers.”

The dentist said, “You’re very brave. Which tooth is it?”

The man said to his wife, “Show him your bad tooth, honey.”

4
A gangster wanted to corrupt a politician. He offered a fancy diamond watch in return for a favor.

The politician said, “It’s bribery. I can’t accept it.”

The gangster said, “I’ll sell you the watch for $20 dollars instead.”

The politician smiled a great big smile. He answered, “In that case, I’ll take two.”

5，这个是我最喜欢的：
Some animals are smarter than humans.

Take the intelligent dolphin as an example. After just a few weeks in captivity, it can train humans to throw it fish.

She excitedly replied, “Yes!”

He excitedly said, “Great! May I have your seat?”

2
A kid asked his mom, “Is it true? My teacher said in some aboriginal areas a woman doesn’t know her husband until they marry.”

The mother sighed, “It happens in every society.”

3
A wife said this to her husband. “Honey, do you know how close I came to marrying Sam before I married you?”

He replied, “Now I know why he smiles and shakes my hand so warmly whenever we meet.”

4
A couple noticed some young people kissing passionately.

The wife said, “Why can’t you do that?”

The man replied, “Honey, I don’t know that girl yet!”

5
A man went to the police station to speak to a burglar.

He asked, “How did you get into my house without waking my wife? Tell me your secret because I’ve been trying to do that for years.”

Sue loved Steve, but she worried about all the money he squandered when they went out together. “How can I stop Steve from spending so much money on me?” She asked her mother.

“Marry him!”

2.Flowers

“Take a bunch of flowers home for your wife, sir.” urged the street vendor.
“I haven’t got a wife,” replied the young man.
“Then buy a bunch for your sweetheart.”
“I don’t have a sweetheart, either.”
“Well then, buy a couple of bunches to celebrate your luck.”

3.Is Your Wife Home Now

The boss arrived at his office with a terrible headache.

“That’s funny, boss.” said an employee, “A few days ago, I had a terrible headache too, but it didn’t last long. My wife pulled me over the sofa, gave me a big hug and a kiss. My headache went away.”

The boss put on his hat. “I’ve tried everything else.” he muttered, “Is your wife home now?”

4.Einstein And Driver

Albert Einstein was traveling around the universities in a car giving lectures on his theory of relativity.
One day, while on the way to a university, the driver said, “Dr. Einstein, I’ve heard you giving the lecture thirty times. I know it by heart, and I am sure I can give it myself.”
“Well. I’ll give you a chance.” said Einstein, “They don’t know me at the next university. When we got there, I’ll put on your hat, and you introduce yourself as me, and give the lecture.”
The driver recited Einstein’s lecture without making any mistakes at the university. But when he finished and started to leave, one of the professors stopped him and asked him a very complex problem. The driver thought fast, “The solution to this is so simple.” he said, “that I’m surprised you have to ask me. In fact, to show you how simple it is, I’ll ask my driver to come here to answer it for you.”

5.Police Chase

A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks, “I can outrun this guy.” so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway — 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy figures “what the heck.” and give up. He pulls over to the curb. The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car. He leans down and says “listen mister, I’ve had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I’ll let you go.”

The man thought for a moment and said, “Three weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror, I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me!”

所有笑话选自《英语时文阅读进阶 幽默篇》。 笑话书不少，但真正好笑的不多。 我感觉这本不错， 中英双语，很适合英语学习者作为课外阅读使用。重点是里面真的有很多好笑的笑话。